I didn't leave my life because it was broken.  I left because it looked perfect—and I still wanted to disappear. That's when I knew I needed a machete, not a mantra.

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In our society, we're raised on a script. Get good grades. Get a degree. Get a job. Smile through it all like you're not dying inside. For a long time, I followed it. Played my part like a good little overachiever. Until one day, I looked around and realized: I'd built a life that looked good on paper, but it didn't belong to me. It wasn't mine. It was a composite sketch of other people's expectations.

I was building someone else's dream and calling it success. But when I finally got honest—brutally honest—I realized I didn't want a picture-perfect life. I wanted a real one. One where I could be who I really was. No performing. No pretending. Just freedom. Not the kind you see in filtered Instagram reels with women twirling in Santorini. The kind that's gritty and real and probably smells like sweat and salt and uncertainty.
So I made a machete. A method. A mirror. I call it B.R.U.T.A.L. Freedom™—a framework, a fight, and a reminder that your life should belong to you. Here's how I hacked my way through the fake stuff to get to something real.

Boundaries were the first thing I had to resurrect from the dead. I used to leak energy like a busted pipe—saying yes when I wanted to scream no, letting people guilt me into emotional labor I never signed up for. People-pleasing is cute until it becomes chronic, and suddenly, you're a shell of yourself.

So I started blocking time for myself like I was Beyoncé's assistant. I said no. I didn't explain. I let people be disappointed—and spoiler alert: I didn't die. I actually started to breathe.

If you're in the same boat—running on fumes, smiling through resentment—I recommend starting with Nedra Tawwab's book Set Boundaries, Find Peace. It felt like having someone whisper "you're not crazy" into my ear. Also, I began blocking time using Notion—not just for tasks, but for silence, recovery, and doing absolutely nothing. If you want to audit your own energy leaks, grab my free [B.R.U.T.A.L. Self-Inventory Workbook]—it's the same one I used to stop betraying myself with a calendar full of other people's priorities.

Reinvention isn't a rebrand. It's a reckoning. It's looking in the mirror and going: "This is not it." My job paid well, but it drained me. My circle looked like friends but felt like surveillance. So I let go. I changed my wardrobe. I changed my weekends. I stopped asking for permission to be someone new.

I didn't know exactly what was next—but I knew it wasn't this.

Solo travel helped. Hearing my own voice in a new place reminded me who I was before I became "functional." And therapy? Whew. Let's just say 73% of this glow-up is because my therapist stopped letting me lie to myself.

If you're thinking about a shift but have no idea where to start, Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett cracked something open for me. And if you need someone to walk with you through the reinvention (or call out your BS lovingly), BetterHelp's online therapy is clutch. Paired with the self-inventory workbook, it's like giving yourself a compass before you toss the old map.

It's not your fault—but it is your responsibility. That was the hardest lesson. I wanted to blame the job, the breakup, the patriarchy. And sure, all of that played a part. But once I realized I was the one still signing up for my own suffering? That's when I got serious about accountability.

I stopped waiting for a rock bottom. I started tracking my spending because money stress is mood stress. I created check-in rituals with myself. I didn't wait for permission—I gave myself assignments.

If you're in the thick of a messy life chapter, Die With Zero by Bill Perkins helped me rethink how I use money to reflect my values, not just my fears. And YNAB (You Need a Budget) gave me the tools to actually track the life I was trying to build—not just survive. If nothing else, download my free workbook and do one brutally honest self-inventory page. You might surprise yourself.

Here's the secret: liberation doesn't look like fireworks. Sometimes it looks like blocking a number. Or finally signing that lease. Or turning off your phone for 24 hours and realizing the world didn't implode. Liberation is sneaky. It's soft. It's personal.

For me, it looked like owning my time. Choosing my peace. Refusing to explain my joy to anyone who hadn't earned front-row seats to my life. And most of all, not waiting for someone else to say "go."

If you need a reminder that you don't have to be everyone's favorite to be free, The Courage to Be Disliked was a quiet thunderclap. And when I needed to reconnect with myself in small ways, I packed my Timbuk2 bag and left town—alone. Bonus tip: the We're Not Really Strangers Self-Love deck is perfect for journaling, crying, and getting your power back in the mirror.

Listen—your path won't be polished. It'll be jagged and weird and un-Instagrammable. But it'll be yours. That's what matters. This framework isn't about a glow-up. It's about burning the blueprint you inherited and sketching something true.
You don't need more discipline—you need more honesty.

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This free emotional inventory workbook helps you name your patterns, rewrite your story, and walk into your next season brutally honest.

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